When Pessimism Overtakes

As I sat in bed all alone, tears threatened to betray me. I bit my lower lip and hugged my shaking self, wrapping my arms on my body. Rocking back and forth, I tried to calm down and told myself words. Words of encouragement. Words that I though could help. But no, words weren't just enough. Those words left me hanging.

They left me hanging. All the things that came from their treacherous lips were hollow lies, filled with pretense and honey-coated damned promises.

Promises. Oh how they loved breaking their every word. They thought I hadn't known their inconspicuous plans and backstabbing. How could I ever trust them? Even told them my secrets? I was naive but naivety shouldn't be an excuse. Why could such stupidity exist inside me? Why should I always be the victim of such users?

Users. Those kind of people loiters around like garbage. And me, I was gullible and that was my mistake. They knew what my situation was; my parents had divorce yet instead of consoling me they took advantage of my weak state. How could they call themselves friends?!

Friends. Friendship. How simple it was to say: 'Let's be friends!' but how could I ever say that now if the so-called friendship scarred me? The very existence of that friendship was the reason I died. Dead in a sense that I couldn't feel any warmth. Every thing seemed so cold, so sleek that I always end up eating dust. Everyday passed passed by a heart achingly slow manner that I couldn't barely contain the feeling of dread. The thought of enduring another hour filled with anger and so much hatred was deliberately killing me.

Kill. If one look could inflict pain and could get one's life I would definitely glare at those who made me feel this way. But I was too weak, too drained to think anymore. My mind, unfortunately, contradicted and wouldn't stop its motions. All those bitter memories came crashing down as I finally gave in.

Giving in to this emotion, I felt betrayed. I was betrayed and even though I kept on denying it, I was scared. Really scared.

Then a stream of hot liquid strolled down my cheeks as my head touched the soft scented pillow.

I cried.

FINISH

Note: Pessimistic much? haha. Em pretty down tonigh so I wrote this... not that I have problems with my friends! O.o! I love them to bits! : D I'm just kind of pissed because of... ugh. Never mind.

^^

Louise